and she was petting her beer can
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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