butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
