thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
