I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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