hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
