I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
