There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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