So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
