Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
false alarm, still single
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
