the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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