so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
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Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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