I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
