Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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