nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
