this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
