You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
