He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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