Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
