the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize