That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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