well I can't set my house on fire every night
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
