So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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