i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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