Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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