I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
