Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
