Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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