I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
