I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
