i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's never too late to be topless.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
