She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
