I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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