At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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