so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm jealous of your bromance
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
