you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
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I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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