I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
