i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
