I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
