This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
