is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
