____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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