So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
