i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
