My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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