Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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