And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
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You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
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At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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