I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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