Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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