I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
