I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
