She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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