I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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