Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
