new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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