That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
