i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
