i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
