Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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