She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
