i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
