scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just gift wrapped bread.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
