Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize