his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
