Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
